A Letter to Parents: Appreciate Santas’ Dopeness

Words by Matthew Spence:

Dear Parents,

Good Ole Saint Nick would be pissing in his boots if he found out people weren’t carrying his spirit today. I get it, adulting is hard, I understand yo. Shit, there’s a reason why many people wish they were kids again [insert the song Back in the Day by Ahmad]. The stress of bills, your love life can kick your ass, and mental health can fluctuate from chipper as Peewee Herman to Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh, existential crisis and waiting till people hit 40 and they have a midlife crisis, among the many problems we face in this slowly burning world. So by the time, Christmas time drops by, (the time of the year when magic is in the air and you want to make life less shitty for people), it’s understandable you work day and night, busting your ass, saving every penny, and rusty nickel to buy your kid the gift they hoped for. Hopefully, it’s something appropriate and not concerning, imagine being Santa then. “Honey, what’s a hub account and why does Jimmy want one?”

Digression aside, when it’s all said and done and the big day arrives, you want it known that YOU, bought the gifts but before you do it……stop and don’t do it. Think of the kids and don’t be the childhood buzzkill by killing the fun. It’s like being the dick who doesn’t let kids win at video games. Getting older, life can try to strip away the aloof ever-free imagination we once had as a kid and lead you to more conservative thinking (not literal obviously), but the childlike mind is something that should be preserved as pure as long as possible. Believing in Santa Claus is as pure as you can get. He’s the embodiment of jolliness and kindness for a reason.

The idea of Santa is extremely based on imagination and unrealistic concepts in the eyes of an adult. Fuck the magic and flying reindeer but a man who gives free presents and wants people to be nice to one another is beyond some people, but to a child, that feels like another: saturated, bright, lucid color added to their palette of possibilities of life. Keeping the spirit of Christmas stronger than pride. I, personally never believed in Santa Claus, mainly because my Jamaican parents didn’t give 1/6 of a fuck about trying to hide the idea of them being the ones who bought the presents (love ya mom and dad). I wish I did though, it would’ve seemed wholesome to anticipate the most uncorrupted and jolly person.



Beyond the gifts, the thought of him being real seems like something that can make you feel warm inside knowing he’s going around spreading happiness to those who possibly need it the most during these times when people could be lonely, depressed, and struggling. Sure, this is more of a hindsight perspective than a kid thinking this in-depth, but hey, you never know. Sometimes we don’t give kids as much credit as we should. Some are perceptive as fuck.

Trying to teach your kid reality at such an early age, I can understand….but it’s pointless somewhat. I didn’t believe in Santa when I was 7 but at that same age, I thought I had superpowers, so no matter what, kids will be adorably naive. So with that in mind, let them enjoy the folklore and embrace it until they figure it out for themselves (hopefully soon though, it’d be kinda awkward to have your 17-year-old still believing in Santa, but fuck it). Hopefully, they don’t google it. Happy Christmas! Hanukkah! Birthday! Anniversary! Whichever you’re celebrating, Happiness for you.

Sincerely yours,
Some guy you don’t know.

P.S. I love you (and I want Blonde on Vinyl)

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