A Short (Non) Film: Signing the Creative Contract

Words by Matthew Spence:

Peace to the eyes reading this; hopefully your brightness is turned down so your eyes won’t go to shit and you’ll still be able to see the bills you hate. You know, usually here at Cherry-Tape, we like to joke and laugh and shoot the shit about shit. But for this article… Eh, somewhat of the same shit. Now here’s some behind-the-scenes insight. I’m just an asshole who has too much time on his hands, hence why I can write about stuff like “How often does Westside Gunn say ‘Ayo’ throughout his albums?” “Frank Ocean theories” and “What’s the most common Sonic Youth tuning?” And I can say, I enjoy every bit of it. Whenever I develop an article, interview questions, points I wanna make for a topic, etc., I truly understand the joy Jimmy Neutron feels whenever he gets a brain blast. It’s the creative gushers exploding in your brain.

However, for my latest topic/observation, which I wanted to write about, I didn’t have that childlike eureka moment. Instead, I was left interestingly perplexed and constantly stuck on a realization. I didn’t have writer’s block, nor was I burnt out. I was just dealing with a shower thought on creativity that’s been Velcro stuck to my brain. I stopped in my tracks and just went “Hmmm…….Huh……….” and felt ready for Clerks-esque convo with a homie.

For the last two years and so, I’ve had the luxury of talking and meeting so many talented people across different creative fields: musicians, artists, fashion designers, YouTubers, etc. With every interview I’ve done, they always leave me a piece of wisdom and energy that leaves me grateful that this is something I do and drives the urge to keep doing this. However, one thought occurred to me that really put stuff in a bit of perspective: Being a creative is like signing a contract without reading the fine print.

No, let’s set the record straight: we’re all creative in some way or another; even if it’s not the traditional way we think of creativity, everyone has a creative link within them to do something.

However, regarding creativity in the sense, we usually think: It’s fascinating how when we’re “called to something,” as corny as that sounds, we’re not aware of the cons and mental consequences that come with it until we reach that point. Like delaying your 4-installment payment plan for another 2 weeks. Which is no real fault on our own. When you’re focused on the craft and love for what you do, in the journey of looking to reach a professional height, you’re not thinking of the consequences that you’ll unknowingly and ultimately access. It’s like strong puppy love when you’re with the one… You’ll be a bit more blind to reality around you. You think a 10-year-old with aspirations to be a professional musician is thinking about creative burnout? An 18-year-old aspiring screenplay writer is getting ready with a month-long plan on how to defeat depression in case he constantly gets shut down from opportunities and his scripts get thrown in the trash. Fuck no. When you’re in the groove, you’re just moving with the needle. Which for the art is good, cause everything genuine will be transformed into something special, whether music, paintings, etc.

Of course, we know the common motifs and data on people who are active in creative fields, and those who are generally creative often deal with depression and other mental disorders, which also play a role in whether they make the best art or not. However, that’s another topic for another day. It’s just interesting to think about.

A few things sparked this word-vomit of an article: reflecting on my personal journey as an inspiring journalist/writer, reflecting on my interviewees’ journeys in their field, and especially Chappell Roans’ “The Face” cover story. Her assessment of artistry really set the tone for what I eventually thought.

“This industry and artistry fucking thrive on mental illness, burnout, overworking yourself, overextending yourself, not sleeping. You get bigger the more unhealthy you are. Isn’t that so fucked up?” Fair and accurate, wouldn’t you say?

We’re all just trying to build our own LEGO world, but on that journey, reaching so many mental hurdles that we didn’t think our art and craft would be a cause for it. Whether directly or indirectly. Even the dude from Whiplash probably had a moment of “Holy shit, is any of this worth it?” Now, that’s not to say every single creative individual goes through troubles like that, but more often than not, there are definitely periods of turbulence if your career pursuit revolves around your art. You won’t need an origami fortune teller to tell you if you’ll be fucked or not.

Of course, you can’t have this topic without mentioning “tortured artists” and those who eventually develop a very complex (and greatly unhealthy) relationship with their craft (and as well the hassles of fame and personal trauma). However, as someone who’s gone through that rabbit hole studying those who may fall into that category and damn near became one myself at one point, but, that’s a trauma dump article for later. I shall say this: Ehh, glorifying mental illness and mental vices isn’t how anyone should spend their time.

And don’t worry, I’m not trying to make this a “Woe is me, poor us” type of article. Plus, I’m hopeful that those reading this is very empathetic to anyone’s issues, no matter where they stem from. Moreso, it started off as a creative writing piece but slowly turned into a stripped-down journal entry low-key. So many scrapped ideas on how to start it, ways to explore creative research, the idea of creativity, jokes, and references, and you best believe I had so many to help craft this, but ironically for this article on creativity, I decided to dial back the creativity.

Just a stream of unconsciousness (yes, you read that right). Think Spottieottiedopaliscious, except less cool. No real message to convey or point I’m hoping everyone leaves with. Just a thought, my interpretation of the situation, that is. Bill Nye the Science Guy would’ve explained this way better.