Check the Rhymes When They Don't (How Rappers Don't Rhyme)

Words by Matthew Spence:

SORRY! SORRY! My bad, y’all, I know I’m late. I got stuck in traffic, and after abandoning my car in the middle of the road due to a fender bender, traffic is still probably being held up right now as we speak, but we thug it out.

I’m your professor, Professor Spencer, and in case you misread your syllabus, we’re in “Cherry Writing 102.” Creative writing being tackled in many mediums to not only help enhance your skillset but also add voltage to your understanding and appreciation for whatever your artistic craft is. However, today we’re going to switch up the lesson; let’s call it a remix day, if you will. Originally, I was going to follow the old tradition and get you all some lyric paper and make you break down and understand the complexity of certain bars as poetry, like some courses do with Bob Dylan and The Beatles. I was going to have you do the same with the sui generis of the craft of yesteryears and today, like Nas, Ghostface Killah, or Noname. But look at me, I’m the crazy, spunky teacher. You can go to any hip-hop course, YouTube channel, or read any book, and you can walk away with more jewels than your mom’s dresser.

Enough step-by-step info and examples of great bars for a 24/7 block of multi-syllable, internal rhymes that make rap nerds get like Michael Jackson fans with low blood sugar. Which are all valid; some people don’t understand the complexity of what bars can do to niggas.

But today that’s too much of a conventional lecture for me. So today, we’re going to focus on the outliers in hip-hop songwriting and discuss other ways to rhyme, by which I mean to barely do it correctly. I know, I know, don’t clutch your JanSports and pearls; protect hip hop at all costs. But when rappers do this every now and then and manage to get away with it, for better or worse, it really fascinates me. So see what you can do with these methods.

The Tricky Rhyme (April Fools)

Has the Dunkin kicked in yet? Not yet. Whelp, looks like you have to listen to this section on a quarter tank and hope you have enough to make it to the end before you drop dead asleep. For a good starter pack for dummies (I say that respectfully), here’s a sample of a verse, and I want you to read it, analyze it, and use your best judgment to complete the bar.

Last wish, I wish I had two more wishes
And I wish they fixed the door to the matrix’s mad glitches
Spits so many verses sometimes my jaw twitches
One thing this party could use is more [______________]

Now how many of you thought of ending it with Too $hort’s favorite word to complete the bar? The terminology used for female dog… plural. You know the word.

[looks around]

<Whispers> “Bitches.” <Clears throat> Correct in a normal world but incorrect in our reality. W-critical thinking, L-misogyny because the real word is “booze” (I hope to God it’s not Henny).

MF DOOM [R.I.P.] is the owner of this verse and, fitting in with his villainous nature, used a slick trickster tactic to lead us on more than Kanye album release dates. Once we hear a bar, sometimes our mental player gets too confident. Because once we get the context, the rhyme scheme, and so on and so forth mentally, we fill out an application to be their ghostwriter and finish the bar for them. While balancing poetry in one hand, rappers can tend to wear the troll face while holding a mic in the other hand; whenever they use this technique, it’s like ImRaptical Jokers.

The trickster rhyme is when a rapper throws you off their tracks like a Batman villain and takes the rhyme somewhere else; when you think your listening session is going smooth, they bump your DJ table.

It comes in two folds: ending the rhyme scheme a bar earlier than expected by using a completely different word while also cutting the spaghetti between the rapper and the obvious ending. Secondly, if they’re generous, the way you fill in the blank for them (like good community service) is in case you’re two steps ahead. The April Fools’ rhyme leaves rappers walking away from their recording sessions like Keyser Soze. No one will leave their fans stuck entertained in English majors fighting for the lives, wondering, “Why did you say ______?” It was right there, yo. For better? For worse? That’s on your conscious judgments to decide. However, it does shake shit up.

Much-Hush-Much-Dust

Actual bar: Done

Slip Up and Get Up

Sometimes our brains are a bit behind our mouths, so they try to catch up with Flintstone speed before we have a word vomit and say the wrong thing. We may stumble and tumble over our words. However, with the slip-up technique, rappers take this disadvantage and use it as a gold mine segue. Locked in on a rhyme scheme and accidentally extended it? Pronounce the word wrong? Fuck it, we ball. Say it right and move on with a Beyoncé recovery and act like that shit didn’t happen, simple as A-B-3. Lil Wayne is the king of this.

No Rhymes…Uhh Ohhh

The peak. The Apex alternative. The antithesis, antagonist, and asshole of hip-hop songwriting. Why not just cut the fat and be abstract and barely rhyme in your verse for a small fragment or the majority thing, like a free verse? It’s risky in hip hop, considering your one job as a rapper is to…well…rhyme. You don’t have to be Mach-Hammy or Kendrick Lamar, but at least rhyme “cat” and “hat.” The flames from the barbershop and basement roasting will increase the global warming speed rate. It’ll sure get the people talking, though, probably not for the best reasons in regard to your reputation and credibility, but hopefully if its performance is coated in an enjoyable song or so, then it’ll buy you time to work on a rhyme-filled verse for the next while they’re distracted by your rhyme-less verse.

Now, whatever your weapon of choice is doesn’t matter. For starters, they’re all effective at tripping over your listeners in this musical footrace, but as long as you’re creating art from the heart, ultimately, it will take you many places. Any places expand your creative writing skills by steering away from the protocol if you’re bout it-bout it at least. SO FOLKS!! <claps> Everyone take out a notebook, and let’s start writing free vers—-

[Looks at the door and sees police monitoring and roaming in a militant manner]

Uhhhh…. Okay, yeah, you guys… You guys work on your stuff and just pretend you never saw me today.

Remember, art is from your heart and—-

[Officer 1]: I think he’s in this room!!

—-Aww shit